Calling The Philippines “Home”
How important is a support system?
Of course, most expats manage, eventually, to set up a new and trusted circle of friends and professionals, but in our experience a substantial number don’t.
These expats can suffer real distress from being removed from familiar support and from the social isolation that can happen in a foreign village, town or city.
People who don’t develop a new support network before overwhelming feelings of cultural and social isolation begin to seriously affect their everyday life may profoundly suffer for it.
Not surprisingly, expats, like us, who find it hard to settle in often don’t speak the local language, making it excruciatingly hard to communicate their growing distress, and possible depression, to anyone; Even if he or she does speak some Tagalog.
The real danger is that a condition which may start simply with a feeling of numbness or a lack of control or motivation, is internalised, just held inside. There are many reasons for keeping these feelings inside. Fear of the unknown; if I express these feelings will it make me look weak? How will others respond to me? Will it just make things worse?
Actually, keeping everything inside serves to increase feelings of loneliness which may affect the quality of your life dramatically..
It is important that we, as expats in the Philippines, take care of ourselves in significant ways. It is helpful to always develop a support system outside of our immediate family situation.
If you are struggling in some of these ways it serves no benefit to you to choose to be in denial about it. Why deceive even yourself.? Understand that your feelings and struggles are not right or wrong. They just “are”. Join a local expat coffee group or something similar. Find one or two guys that you can talk to. They will likely understand and most importantly ,you will find that you are not alone any more.